The first of many

Finally I have done it, started my blog and here it is.

At first I wondered who the hell would want to read/ take the time out and search for my thoughts on the internet? 

Then it hit me... Like a lightening bolt or a taser gun, who cares!

When I  thinks about a blog, it reminds me of masturbation, something I know very little about, but imagine it being therapeutically pointless. 

The Master, person writing, is in essence, Bating, pleasuring themselves.The difference between blogging and mastering bation is there are so many dimensions to blogging that- flying solo just can't reach. 

There is the Voyeuristic element, because you have invited all your friends/ family/ internet stalkers to witness your verbal fondling. 

The Sado-Masochist edge to all blogs- where you expose you underbelly just to have those same family/ friends/ internet stalkers comment on your thoughts, and criticize you poor spelling and bad grammar. 

And no foray into the world of carnal release could be complete without the feelings of Guilt and Shame following the big ONOOO. " I probably shouldn't have written that," " what will my mother say" or " I hope I have job after that last post". 

Writing my thoughts down on the internet may be a sorry substitute for the real thing but who am I kidding?! I am as self absorbed as any other red blooded American. 

And when you can't: 

get laid, 

find love,

make enough money, 

have enough time,

stick to your diet,

tell the truth,

hide out from your demons,

find your keys

or

drop kick that pain in the ass into next Wednesday, 

You can Always Tell the World- sooo Hold on to your Butts!