Sometimes when I am feeling troubled- I know I should pray to God. During those times it's like I want to pray but the words and concentration aren't there. I start with dear God and then end up with a laundry list of my concerns.
So this was happening today. The night before was full of new thoughts , truths, obstacles and half resolutions so today I was still marinating in it.
So I'm standing at the bus stop- thinking: "Funky butt loving! the bus is late- and Golly, I have to pay my rent, and Hot Damn I look great in these pants, and Gee, this coffee sucks and Shit, I hope that crazy bitch is ok, while staring at the sun, and it struck me. It was time for me to drink my own kool aide.
Oh Yeah!!
Sunday I had the honor of doing step work with a sponsee- Step 2- and I shared with her a book that was instrumental in forging my relationship with God. Divine Guidance- by Doreen Virtue, changed my life- by pretty much validating my thoughts on spirituality. The concepts that jumped to my mind; prompting me to blog and accept peace, was that God doesn't care how you talk to him- just do it often. He is so omni-awesome that he sees past all the hurt and confusion to the heart of me- and is never offended. Secondly- that sometimes we need to string out prayers over minutes, hours, days, weeks, months.
I am the type of person who wants to have a concise and eloquent prayer so I can say- "I prayed." So today when I was at a loss for words- and it happens- I remembered that concept and got busy accepting it and doing it. So at this moment I am stringing out this prayer with God like a conversation with a therapist. In my mind I am laying on a leather couch just telling God everything- my hopes, fears, desires, shortcomings, everything. And it makes me feel better. To know that I don't have to have the correct change$ in order to access Gods mercy and grace is too awesome for words. I am praying to God in installments- like layaway- knowing that once I've got it all out I will be able to appreciate his inspiration so much more- cause I worked really hard to be open to it.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
What the What?
People have been asking me, " Why haven't you been blogging? What in the world could've happened to prevent you from sharing your profound thoughts with us and the World wide Interweb?"
It is time for me to come clean- I have been afflicted with a serious illness.
One that has enabled me to shirk my closest companions- PC and Blackberry.
One that is rivaled only by blindness, amputation or spontaneous combustion.
I first noticed there was a problem when I started to leave my compter and blackberry turned off. It was like I stopped breathing, my heart stopped beating- and I didnt care! What type of bug could make me apathetic to breating and circulation?
I thought that it would pass and I could keep going with my life, until the symptoms got worse. Blurry vision, facial spasms- around the mouth area, swirly stomach. The physical ailments didnt bother me too much until I started to notice that I no longer had the capacity for wit and avarice. I had been struck dumb; as if I had been lobotomized during a brown out a piece of my brain had been removed, now I was scared.
I finally decided to go to the Dr. and she confirmed it. I was afflicted by a life changing, mind altering, spirit shifting malady.
Love.
At first I was in total denial. How could this happen to me? I'm a good girl, I used protection. However I have learned that a heart shaped box is only about 99.9% effective. Leave it to me to fall into the sliver of failure.
My precautionary measures were rendered even more ineffective by the mutant of a man I had encountered. Here are the signs to let you know if you should turn and run away lest you become victim to this indiscriminate malady.
1. The man you find is real, like flesh and blood. He is not based on a t.v. show or a book. You can actually touch him and your friends can see him.
2. The man says he likes you and thinks your pretty without the aid of head trauma or psychotropic/ hallucenopgenic drugs.
3. People start looking at you like your not crazy because now your laughing with some one, not just by yourself.
Apparently there is no cure for this cluster fuck of mojo. No cream, pill, injection, or transplant. However I've been told that I can live a relatively normal life if I vigilantly take my medicine every day for the rest of my life. If daily doses of dick and apple pie will get me back to normal- then I have hope. I believe that I will be well again. One day at a time. Pray for me.
It is time for me to come clean- I have been afflicted with a serious illness.
One that has enabled me to shirk my closest companions- PC and Blackberry.
One that is rivaled only by blindness, amputation or spontaneous combustion.
I first noticed there was a problem when I started to leave my compter and blackberry turned off. It was like I stopped breathing, my heart stopped beating- and I didnt care! What type of bug could make me apathetic to breating and circulation?
I thought that it would pass and I could keep going with my life, until the symptoms got worse. Blurry vision, facial spasms- around the mouth area, swirly stomach. The physical ailments didnt bother me too much until I started to notice that I no longer had the capacity for wit and avarice. I had been struck dumb; as if I had been lobotomized during a brown out a piece of my brain had been removed, now I was scared.
I finally decided to go to the Dr. and she confirmed it. I was afflicted by a life changing, mind altering, spirit shifting malady.
Love.
At first I was in total denial. How could this happen to me? I'm a good girl, I used protection. However I have learned that a heart shaped box is only about 99.9% effective. Leave it to me to fall into the sliver of failure.
My precautionary measures were rendered even more ineffective by the mutant of a man I had encountered. Here are the signs to let you know if you should turn and run away lest you become victim to this indiscriminate malady.
1. The man you find is real, like flesh and blood. He is not based on a t.v. show or a book. You can actually touch him and your friends can see him.
2. The man says he likes you and thinks your pretty without the aid of head trauma or psychotropic/ hallucenopgenic drugs.
3. People start looking at you like your not crazy because now your laughing with some one, not just by yourself.
Apparently there is no cure for this cluster fuck of mojo. No cream, pill, injection, or transplant. However I've been told that I can live a relatively normal life if I vigilantly take my medicine every day for the rest of my life. If daily doses of dick and apple pie will get me back to normal- then I have hope. I believe that I will be well again. One day at a time. Pray for me.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sappy songs
Isn't funny how the quintessential love songs are written by men- the same species that regards sentimentality of women as weak nausea ting. Song singers and writers like John Mayer, Jerome Kern, Smokey Robinson and the dudes from Coldplay wrench the hearts strings of women everywhere in every era- and yet once they have those strings in their grasp they don't know what to do with them- so they tie them to rocks and toss them into crevasses un-surveyed by humans. Crev-Asses infested with confusion, innuendos, in securities, doubts, irrationality and falsehoods.
How do you responsibly handle strings of a woman's heart? Well you tie them to your own of course- so if someone's going down- everybody goes down- its only fair. Maybe dudes will think twice before the profess their love, introduce you to parents, siblings, and co-workers if their hearts were tethered to their prospective victims. Perhaps that would provide incentive to be rigorously honest and to form healthy boundaries in the preliminary stages of relationships. Therefore if the situation goes awry you can severe the connections with scissors not acetylene torches. Acquiring minor scraps and cuts, avoiding third degree burns, amputations and skin grafts.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
How do you responsibly handle strings of a woman's heart? Well you tie them to your own of course- so if someone's going down- everybody goes down- its only fair. Maybe dudes will think twice before the profess their love, introduce you to parents, siblings, and co-workers if their hearts were tethered to their prospective victims. Perhaps that would provide incentive to be rigorously honest and to form healthy boundaries in the preliminary stages of relationships. Therefore if the situation goes awry you can severe the connections with scissors not acetylene torches. Acquiring minor scraps and cuts, avoiding third degree burns, amputations and skin grafts.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
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