Psychos-therapy

Sometimes when I am feeling troubled- I know I should pray to God. During those times it's like I want to pray but the words and concentration aren't there. I start with dear God and then end up with a laundry list of my concerns.
So this was happening today. The night before was full of new thoughts , truths, obstacles and half resolutions so today I was still marinating in it.
So I'm standing at the bus stop- thinking: "Funky butt loving! the bus is late- and Golly, I have to pay my rent, and Hot Damn I look great in these pants, and Gee, this coffee sucks and Shit, I hope that crazy bitch is ok, while staring at the sun, and it struck me. It was time for me to drink my own kool aide.
Oh Yeah!!
Sunday I had the honor of doing step work with a sponsee- Step 2- and I shared with her a book that was instrumental in forging my relationship with God. Divine Guidance- by Doreen Virtue, changed my life- by pretty much validating my thoughts on spirituality. The concepts that jumped to my mind; prompting me to blog and accept peace, was that God doesn't care how you talk to him- just do it often. He is so omni-awesome that he sees past all the hurt and confusion to the heart of me- and is never offended. Secondly- that sometimes we need to string out prayers over minutes, hours, days, weeks, months.
I am the type of person who wants to have a concise and eloquent prayer so I can say- "I prayed." So today when I was at a loss for words- and it happens- I remembered that concept and got busy accepting it and doing it. So at this moment I am stringing out this prayer with God like a conversation with a therapist. In my mind I am laying on a leather couch just telling God everything- my hopes, fears, desires, shortcomings, everything. And it makes me feel better. To know that I don't have to have the correct change$ in order to access Gods mercy and grace is too awesome for words. I am praying to God in installments- like layaway- knowing that once I've got it all out I will be able to appreciate his inspiration so much more- cause I worked really hard to be open to it.
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